A Pyratical Sea

A welcome sea beckons in the red mornin' sun  Rise up buccaneers thar’s work to be done.  Hoist every sail and set a course true  Out on the trades thar’s riches fer you.  After the pillagin’ we’ll fly in the winds  To Pyrates Cove whar the partyin' begins.  Thar be wenches, rum, and a sea farin’ song  Divvyin’ up booty arrrr plan all along.  We’re partyin’ pyrates ‘til we’re put under  A great grand life for a bit o' the plunder.

A Pyratical Sea by Don “D'Pyrate” Winfield

Christmas Day 2017

     2017 has turned out to be a very special Christmas, indeed. It started out with my son, who hasn't been home in about a year and a half, showing up at the house on the 22nd. He'd just returned to his home in Reno, NV from a two month stint in Puerto Rico. He'd been on the island helping with the clean-up and restoration of the cell phone service which was disrupted by Hurricane Erma. Ben's flying east and arriving in time for Christmas was a pleasant surprise for his mom and me, and our extended family.
     On the 23rd, there was a family Holiday gathering at my eldest daughter's home. For the first time in 11+ years we were able to take photos of all 4 of my children together. This is a picture we'll cherish forever. The party was congenial and fun for everyone. Only my grandson, Dylan, was unable to attend. Sadly, he had to work.. We all missed him very much.
     On the twenty-fourth, my wife's sister and her partner showed up for Holiday cheer and a grand old gab-fest. Jayne and John are such a pleasure to be around, with their interesting life on a farm in rural Upstate NY. Of course, it was an excellent time to compare the lives we all lead, and how widely varied they are within the same family. We have full time farmers, students, business owners, civil servants, engineers, and most puzzling to some of us, the Mennonite/Amish contingent.
     It's heartwarming to all of us that we all get along so well, and understand each other's choices. Even though we're from different societies, religious and political beliefs, we all love one another equally.
     This is notable to me because I hear the stories people tell about family gatherings and Holiday meals that are uncomfortable and often contentious. I realize that this happens, but I'm glad that our lives have room for everyone to have their differences and still be loved. I credit our ancestors' child rearing abilities, and our ability to carry on those ways, so that they have trickled down to our children. Hopefully, with lessons learned from us, our grandchildren and great-grandchildren will grow to be tolerant and loving of their families ad infinitum.
     Now, it's Christmas Day. It's a small gathering consisting of Meg, myself and our 2 progeny. Ben and Ashley are here for presents, dinner, and companionship. Ashley's boyfriend, Bob has joined us, and it's nice to welcome him into the fold.
     Having chronicled this Holiday Season, so far, it's time for me to shut the computer off and get a seat in the family circle.
     Merry Christmas to all, and to all a truly warm and wonderful Christmas experience. 

No Blue Screen

     I just got my computer back from the nerd. Yea! Right. Here's the story 'cause I need to vent.
     A couple of weeks ago my computer started to need me to hit F1 to light it up every time I turned it on. The message was something like this. "You're screwed pal. Your hard drive is crashing and there's nothing you can do about it."
     Well, I've had many computers head south over the years, and I was happy to have advance warning that it was packing it's bags. Being right on the ball, I headed for the local computer toy shop and picked up an external HD with twice the space of my PC's existing one. Oh yeah. Hot stuff!
     I then dutifully moved all of my files from the PC to the external drive. I'm on a roll, man! After that was done, I called my favorite geek and made an appointment to get the repairs done. He told me, "order the 1TB HD in the url I'm sending you. When it comes in, call me and I'll have you bring the machine up."
     Glory! Things are really moving now. It's all good, and I'm well on my way back to computer paradise. Well...maybe not so much.
     The new HD arrives. I text my friendly geek and get an appointment.
     This may be a good time to mention that I'd been using my crappy laptop PC for about a week by then. I'd been unable to record my weekly hour-long show for about three weeks, and struggling to do the daily half-hour show on the damn laptop. The 30 minute shows are mostly done on the broadcast program, not on my computer, so not so bad. Did I say my fat fingers don't do well on a laptop's smaller, flat keyboard? I keep scraping the totally useless touch pad. Oh yeah. Frequently, when I complete a long paragraph my hand grazes the touch pad and all is lost. That's about seven out of ten times. The longer the paragraph, the more likely I'm going to lose it.
     Long story short, the computer whiz gets my PC, new HD, data laden external drive, and all. A few hours later he calls me with fantastic news. "Don, your old HD is so bad I can't get an image of your content or operating system. I know you have Win 10 on there, but I can only install Win 7 because you have the Win 10 that they gave everyone free when they did the big changeover. I don't have the code numbers for it, buddy."
     Another day passes. No computer yet. Then, there's more good news. "Hey, Don. I was able to get Win 10 on your new HD, but none of the data. I can show you how to load that when you pick your machine up."
     "You can't do it there?" I inquire.
     "Well, yes. But, it takes hours, and I'd have to charge you a lot more."
     "Yeah, show me when I come get it."
     Another long story shortened considerably. He told me all about how to do the file transfer starting with taking a fresh "image" of my Operating System (Win10). By the time I left, I knew I was on my own. Seriously, I was up shit creek without a paddle, in a leaky canoe.
     I don't know how, but I got enough stuff loaded into this PC so that I'm using it to write this blog entry. I still have to install all of my programs, one by one. The best news for now is that all of my archived programs, pics, logos, interviews, music, and information is available on my external hard drive.
     I'm hoping to one day get smart enough to put all of that stuff on the internal HD of this machine where it'll be a lot more convenient to access.
     The moral of this tale is when the slightest problem arises on your computer, call the nerd immediately. Don't wait a minute. Take that damn computer and drop it in the geek's lap. You'll be glad you did.
     So long for now, and happy computing. Maybe I'll go clean up my old typewriter.

Answers Needed (to obvious questions)

     Sunday, November 5, 2017. Another mass murder in the US. This time in Sutherland, Texas, and 26 are killed at their Baptist church. Eight members of one family are no longer with us, and roughly a score of wounded are recovering in area medical centers. Some of them may not survive.
Like Charlotte, Las Vegas, and in Connecticut a gun was used to do the slaughter. Again, it was a man with an ax to grind and the stupidity or insanity to grind it with mass mayhem.
     I don't have the answers to stopping, or even slowing down this horrible spate of human destruction, but I'm hoping that wiser heads will.
     I believe that feeling sorrow for the victims and families effected by the killings, and praying doesn't hurt. It may serve to comfort them. I agree that we need to sympathize and do everything we can to help those who are torn apart by these terrorist acts to recover as best they can. Our humanity binds us to do whatever we can to make their suffering less painful, if that's even possible.
     Hand wringing and praying will not solve the problem. Saying "we stand with the victims and their families" offers no real assistance. Blaming these tragic outcomes on the possible mental illness of the perpetrator is useless small talk.
     We must call upon the political leaders of our states and The United States, to find solutions. It's an epidemic. If it were a disease, nothing would be spared to find a cure. Let's cajole, beseech, beg, and even bully them to get a grip on gun violence in OUR America, and find the cure. 

Dream of Life

Dream of Life

(c) 2017 - D. J. Winfield

With hungry eyes afire

The Dream swells in his heart

The young man grows impatient

To quickly take his part

Strong and quick at twenty-one

His life has yet no past

He teases each moment and pushes

As though it were the last

Seasons flow together

The Dream will have to wait

At forty he knows reality

Wipes his brow and lengthens his gait

Where did they go so quickly?

Those ideals so real and alive

They're missing now, but not the pain

For the man at sixty-five

Sunset's fingers touch a weathered face

No friends to ring the phone

The Dream alive for ninety years

Now dies with him, alone

Something NEW! Podcasts....

Hi there!
     To my followers, accidental viewers, and even my few "Somewhat North of Disorder" blog friends, some nearly inconsequential news. Not to me, however. To me, it's very consequential.
      As of today, I'm introducing a new facet to my career as an internet radio entertainer, Trop Rock music aficionado, and freestyle blogger.
     Starting today, I'll be publishing podcasts of what I contend are interesting and/or entertaining musical programs. Some will be the regular weekly radio broadcasts I do for www.ShoreLifeRadio.com. Mostly, however, they'll be specially packaged shows to honor and celebrate specific musicians.
     To kick it all off, I'm introducing an artist with musical creds stretching back a few decades but who's new to the Trop genre.
     Go to the link below, and get to know Dayglo Red, and his new concept, "American Reggae". You'll hear all the tracks from his new "American Reggae" CD, introduced by the artist himself. You'll love Dayglo Red and his stories.

Enjoy!

https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/johnparrothead/episodes/2017-03-24T07_28_55-07_00

Sunday Morning at "Roadkill Cafe"

     Sunrise, as seen through the window of the Roadkill Breakfast & Lunch Cafe in the East tower of the Wormgear Mall, is a splendorous sight. I'm at the RBLC having a heart-healthy breakfast of goose eggs, over easy with garlic & onion home fries, unnamed meat sausage, & veggie juice made with a blend of home grown cabbage, dandelions, & beets. 

     The gossip from the kitchen this morning is all about fence sitting international diplomacy in the Middle East, chef Earl's pregnant goat, & the "huge immigrant problem" in Sweden. Bertha Wright just came in and said that VP Pence tracked the Bowling Green Massacre terrorists to Sweden, and they've blown Stockholm up before doing themselves in.

     The diners seem split about the fake news we're watching on TV. Seventy percent of the munchers believe that an 18 wheeler ran over the bank on I-88 & flipped, 'cause they saw a video of it on the tube. Thirty percent say it didn't happen, 'cause they heard Jim Bob, a local 'possum trapper, say he "knows it never happened", 'cause he didn't see it.  He says the mayor assures him that there's never been a truck accident on the highway. "Safest road in the world," Mayor Billy Jim says. On another note, the word is there's no NASCAR from Daytona today. It was mentioned on the fake news, so we all know it's a lie.
     We just found out the sausage is venison. Fairly fresh meat, just scraped off the bumper of the truck that didn't hit it on the Interstate. The same big-rig that didn't swerve to miss it, and isn't hooked to the giant tow truck out in the Cafe's back parking lot. We know it's not out there because that damn lyin' blonde anchor on the morning news said it is. No need to check it out.
     Bon appetite!

2017 - Way Beyond My Wildest Dreams

New Year's Resolutions? At best, a load of crap!

Everyone...well, probably not everyone, but it's safe to say that a large number of Americans, and likely a lot of people around the world, make New Year's Resolutions. It's a ritual they perform at the start of every new calendar year. They're not cult followers, just dreamers.

New Year's Resolutions are destined, in fact are made, to be broken. They're usually lofty aspirations to: lose weight, gain weight, drink less, drink more, be nicer, be less nice, spend more time on a favorite past-time, spend more time with family, spend less time with family, finish a project, start a project, stop gambling, start gambling, remember a loved one's important milestones, run away to Key West and get lost, or even to clean out the clutter of your life whatever it might be.

99.9999999 % are destined to be broken.

It's guaranteed that you'll keep putting them off, forget about them, decide on January 2nd that they were foolish to begin with, or just say, "who gives a shit?" It's even possible that you'll have a stroke, someone you love will become more dependent upon you, or some catastrophic event will prohibit the fulfillment of your resolutions. Could happen! The positive benefit of these events is a diminished feeling of guilt for letting the resolutions go.

I am more than likely not going to clean out my garage and enjoy the added space for the whole year. I might toss enough junk to make it a little easier to get around my workbench. Sure, that's possible. Unlikely, but possible. I might even finish up one of the hundred projects I have in the works in one of many places. On a whim, I started to build a motorized Schwinn bike about five years ago. I could work on that. There's the electric grill for the deck that I repaired and needs to be put back together. That could happen sometime soon. There's the volume of short stories I've been meaning to get edited and published for several years. I'll probably keep adding stories, but the publishing thing... well... could happen in '17. Probably not. But it could.

Then there's the inside projects I've planned: start a podcast of music by musicians of my (and my followers/peers) era; put together a monthly show of substance, telling the stories of the most interesting artists in Trop music; clean out my studio so I can find a few of the songs I've written and work on them. There's those things and many more, that I'd love to accomplish this year. Hell, I'd like to accomplish them this week!

Reality check. If I were going to do these things, I wouldn't need a resolution. I'd need to get off my butt and get moving in a focused direction. I'd probably have to start with a major organization of my time. Instead of randomly charging here and there putting out fires, doing this or that on impulse, make a plan to spend a certain amount of time on each project, need, or desire, each day, week, or month, until one by one my dreams come true. My dreams of course, being to make some substantial headway on projects that I believe are important to me.

"Important to me." That's an ambiguous statement. What does it mean? What, I wonder, is really important to me? If something were that important, would I not have already focused enough attention on it to have accomplished it?

Maybe. But maybe not. Could it possibly be a matter of getting a grip on an over active mind which unfortunately ended up being trapped inside the body of a slug? That sounds like a fairly realistic answer to many of the situations I've mentioned here. I've come to realize that my ideas and wished for accomplishments, far outweigh my capacity to complete them. So, could it be that I've given up on the completion of many tasks, realizing that before any can be finished, my hyper-active brain will skip to another thing I'd "really like to do next?" 

It's the dawn of another new year... "New Year". I hope you'll all accomplish most of the things you wish to do in 2017. Travel to those places you've dreamt of. Visit old friends you haven't gotten around to seeing in years, maybe decades. Buy a red sports-car instead of a gray "cross-over" vehicle. Go to the ocean, lake, river, or even creek pond, and enjoy doing nothing for awhile. Drink too much at least once this year. Party, let your tight-assed self-control go, and see what happens. You might be pleasantly surprised at how rejuvenated you feel after you sober up.

Here's my New Year recommendation. Don't bother with a New Year's Resolution unless it's to resolve not to make any. Less guilt, more peace of mind. After all, you and I haven't altered our habits in decades. That should tell the wise individual that they're probably not going to change overnight, at the start of a new calendar or not. Start living today, in a way that you'll be able to look back on 2017 as a year that was "one hell-of-a ride!"

Happy New Year!

Multi-Artist Show Cancellations Examined

Charlie Imes @ The Piping Parrot

     Lately, there has been a lot of chatter on social media about gigs going away, and events suddenly being canceled.          One band recently traveled to Florida from their more northerly homes, to play a famous central Florida venue. Then, at almost the last minute it fell through.  Another pair of nationally known Trop acts had been touting their appearances at a festival held by one of the eastern PHCs. A couple of weeks before the show, the event was canceled.
     These occurrences made me consider where all of this may be going.  Is there an underlying something that we're failing to see?
     As "music worlds" go, the Trop Rock world is comparatively small.  There are a few hundred bands, duos, and solo acts on the circuit, trying to scratch out some kind of living playing our favorite music.  How small is this niche?  Take your own survey.  Ask a number of your friends that are not on your facebook page or in your PHC, etc., what Trop Rock music is.  The simple truth is, they're probably not going to know.  The reaction will range from a cocked eyebrow to a loud, "what the hell you talkin' about, Bubba"?
     My point is, in a group this small, there are a finite number of fans and paying customers, to consume the product.
     From my view, here in upstate New York, Florida seems jam-packed with beach cowboy, and tropical dreaming bands.  On the "Shore Life Radio", the Internet station I work with, we have an enormous library of artists and acts from which to make our programming choices. The supply of Trop Rock music seems never ending.
     But, I want to point out something that may be worth considering.
I live in a region where the "greater area" has around a quarter of a million people.  From that figure, a hardcore Parrot Head, or Trop fan, may form the opinion that there would be enough Trop music fans at any given time, to fill a number of venues with paying customers. This is not the sunny South, and Trop fans are few and far between here.
     In reality, there's not all that many Trop fans in this region, and getting enough of them together to make a decent crowd is not easy.  We've found that to bring the music we love here, we have to add some variety to the schedule.  For example, there are many, and I mean many, more times the number of Rock fans and Country fans, than there are Trop Rock fans in this region. If you want to see a Trop Rocker, sometimes we add a Pop or Country band to the line-up. It bolsters the attendance and helps raise enough money to pay the Trop act.
     Here comes my point.  Our fan base is quite specialized and relatively small, so we don't get the larger Trop shows here. Therefore, when I see shows with big name headliners like The CalypsoNuts, and James "Sunny Jim" White canceled, I have to wonder why.
     Many of my readers will know I'm talking about the three-day Phunfest in Ocean City, MD, that was to be held the 26th through the 28th of September.   Their Website said it was "postponed".  No alternate date was listed. It never happened. Ticket sales in numbers to support the event were just not there.
     My opinion is that there is beginning to be an overload of expensive 2 and 3 days long Trop extravaganzas.  People have to budget for the ones they can attend, and naturally, some of the best events are the most expensive.
      I believe there is another factor that merits consideration. In a way, it's a "Catch 22" of current trends in live entertainment. House Concerts.
     House Concerts are all the rage. All across the country, people are turning their living rooms, decks, patios, garages, and pool areas into live music venues. They've become a major provider of "in person" entertainment for Trop fans. Both coasts, middle America, and wherever fans can be gathered, Trop acts are being called upon to bring their instruments, mics, speakers, and sometimes even lighting, to houses in the country, suburbia, and cities, to set up and play a couple of sets at bargain prices.
     I say bargain prices because it's a huge bargain for the fans. For ten to twenty dollars, in most cases, fans get to not only hear their favorite artists live, they get to chat, eat, and hang out with them. Part of the deal is that the House Concert host frequently affords the artist lodging for the night, often under their own roof.
     Consider that. No traveling a hundred or more miles, no meals on the road, or overnight motel bills for the fans lucky enough to live near a House Concert venue. Actually, any fan can even set up and hold their own HC.
     You can see why this might cut into the business for the major multi-day concert events. Sure, they're always thrown in the name of several charities, but that's not why people go. They go to see their favorite artist or artists perform and be in contact with them. If they can see them at home for fifteen dollars, why go for an overnight trip to see them?
     I remain willing and eager to go to at least one large event a year.  Plus, I have opened up my house for the last three years, for House Concerts. The Piping Parrot may be only a deck attached to the back of my modest home, but one or two times a year, Trop fans can come and enjoy an artist they'd normally have to travel out of state to catch live. They get a great show that costs less than a trip to their local movie theater and sleep in their own bed.
      I don't know if I've answered the question, "why are so many large concert events losing popularity or failing?" but I hope I've given you something to think about.

A Pyratical Life

A Pyratical Sea

The sea shines red in the mornin' sun
Rise up buccaneers, thar’s work t' be done. 
Hoist every sail and set a course true
Out on the trades, thar’s riches fer you.
After the pillagin’ we’ll fly in the winds
To Pyrates Cove whar the party begins.
Thar be wenches, rum, and a sea farin’ song
Divvyin’ up booty, arrrr plan all along.
We’re partyin’ pyrates ‘til we’re put under
A great grand life for a bit o' the plunder. 

Don "D'Pyrate" Winfield

"MEET ME IN MIKERITAVILLE-IV"

      

 What's going on here?

     This is the fourth consecutive year that a small group of friends in the Binghamton area have

initiated and managed the "Meet Me In Mikeritaville" event. This is the third time "MMIM" will be presented at Casey's Restaurant & Bar, 1123 Front St., in Binghamton, NY. 

 Why is this happening?

     Each year "MMIM" strives to raise awareness for a worthwhile charity that may be overlooked by other events and fund raising efforts in the area. "MMIM" has raised awareness and funds for IAVA (Iraq & Afghanistan Veterans of America), The Broome County Humane Society, Wounded Warrior Project, and others. This year, the event is presented on behalf of S.T.A.R. (Southern Tier Animal Rescue Network). 

 What does S.T.A.R. do?

     S.T.A.R. doesn't have a high profile in the Triple Cities/Broome County area, but it is a valuable resource in the effort to control the feral cat population of the area surrounding the confluence of the Susquehanna and Chenango rivers. S/T.A.R. is an all volunteer group of caring people who spend much of their free time catching feral cats, having them neutered by local Veterinarians, and returning them to their familiar locations

 How does that help?

     By neutering feral cats, it greatly reduces the population through a humane and natural process. By limiting the cats' ability to procreate in the wild, the population is reduced in a gradual and humane manner. The fewer feral cats, the less of a problem they are to homeowners and other animals existing in their natural habitats.

                                                                     How does "MMIM-IV" work?

      "Meet Me In Mikeritaville-IV" is a musical event. This year, there will be two musical acts performing for attendees.  Both of the acts are family friendly, and play a type of music enjoyed by the young, the older, and everyone in between. There will be raffle basket tickets being sold and a Chinese Auction of the baskets will be on-going all evening. There is a 50 inch, flat-screen, "smart TV" being raffled, as well as multiple 50/50 Raffles, throughout the event. Delicious food and a wide array of alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages are being sold by Casey's. There is something for everyone.

    What kind of music is at "MMIM-IV"?

     The music being performed at "MMIM-IV" is a style known as Trop Rock. Think of it as beach music, island vacation music, or even coastal country. To give a clearer idea of what the music is like, think Jimmy Buffett, Zac Brown, Kenny Chesney, and the like. In fact, both "MMIM-IV" acts will be playing familiar songs from each of those artists, as well as their own original music.

    Where does the name "Meet Me In Mikeritaville" come from?

      Excellent question! There's the possibility of a long answer to that, but to respect the reader's time and for convenience sake, here's the short one:  The event started out as a tongue-in-cheek celebration paralleling an event in Fruita, CO, named "Mike The Headless Chicken Day".  June 3rd and 4th 2016, mark the 18th annual MTHCD in Fruita.  Since the group of folks who present MMIM" in Binghamton are Trop Rock music lovers, they named the event in honor of Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville. Ergo "Mikeritaville", touching on both Miracle Mike the inspirational chicken, and their favorite kind of music. 

All you really need to know.

     On May 21st, at the cozy, family-friendly restaurant called Casey's, there will be a lot of great LIVE music, a group of like-minded people gathered to support a worthy cause, and the opportunity to win prizes from a plethora of raffle baskets, a TV, and cash from "full pay out" 50/50s. THERE ARE FOOD AND DRINK SPECIALS all evening, so you can come and dine on excellent food at reasonable prices.

One last note.

     There is no admission charge, no minimum purchases, and no pressure to participate in the raffles. Just come out and enjoy the music, sing & dance along, and chat with your friends. You'll want to bring all of your friends to share this wonderful time.  We want to see full seats, and your smiling faces.  Come on!  "Meet Me In Mikeritaville"!

For more information or become a volunteer.

"MMIM-IV" on Facebook  

Call for info: Don or Meg: 607-648-6273

The Game

      The Connecticut Committee met every Thursday evening. One particular evening in late October, they decided that immediate action was necessary half-way around the world. Committee member Barbara O'Reilly left the meeting and caught the next available plane from New York's Kennedy International Airport. Her destination was Australia.

      One week later, after five days in Sydney, she was lunching al fresco at the Bondi Trattoria Café on Campbell Parade.

      People moved along the sidewalk either toward Bondi Beach, or the opposite direction toward downtown Sydney. Few took notice of the pretty, tall, well dressed brunette having a seafood salad in the open air. Barbara eyed each pedestrian carefully, her sapphire eyes noting every detail. Blending well into the busy scene, she was just another thirty something business woman having a leisurely lunch.

      When the waiter returned with Barb's check, she carefully laid out the exact amount of the meal. Tipping is considered rude in Australia, and she didn't wish to stand out. She soon spotted what she was waiting for. The swarthy waiter standing by the cafe's side door nodded almost imperceptibly to an elderly woman that was shuffling along the opposite side of Campbell Parade. With no change in his facial expression he dropped his cigarette, stepped on it, and slipped inside the cafe.

      Barbara took one last swallow of Perrier and stood. She slowly arranged some items in her purse, smoothed her skirt, pushed her chair in, and stepped into the light flow of pedestrian traffic. She and the ancient woman were both heading downtown.

      Barb strode briskly along the street, keeping the old lady in sight. The crone seemed unaware of being followed, but Barb knew better. Ten blocks and five direction changes later, Barb was standing in a dark alley, her back against the rear door of a closed haberdashery.

      After moving ahead of her subject, she'd stopped at a public toilet and disposed of the chestnut wig and dark business suit she'd been wearing. Now, she was a tall, striking redhead, wearing a white turtleneck, yellow vest, and designer blue jeans. She held a small silver colored revolver in her right hand.

      Barbara's target entered the alley from the street. Her suddenly youthful step belied her age, and her pace quickly carried her to within a few feet of the waiting redhead. Suddenly the door of the abandoned men's store burst open. Barb was slammed into the wall on the opposite side of the narrow alley. As she crashed into the wall she recognized her attacker. It was the waiter who'd served her lunch. 

     Barbara reflexively raised the Colt and fired. The knife in the menacing waiter's hand froze in mid-air. The stiletto's razor-sharp blade had missed Barb's throat by less than an inch.

      A small dark hole appeared between the waiter's eyes. The wound looked like a tiny third eye, as the man crumbled and fell to the damp bricks. Barb quickly retrieved the dagger with a gloved left hand.

      The young man disguised as an old woman, had by then come face to face with Barbara and the waiter. He had no time to retreat. The long thin blade slipped silently between his ribs and through his heart. His last few seconds were wasted trying to understand his fate. "Allah Akbar," he whispered, and his eyes lost their light.

      The untraceable Colt was placed in his lifeless hand. The knife remained in his chest. His plot would be exposed by Sydney police, and his homemade bombs would be found and destroyed during the investigation. The Holy War had come to an end for the young Jihadist named Amin.

      Tropical music from her iPad filled Barb's ears as the Boeing 767 lifted into the warm Sydney night.

      Next week, she thought as she closed her eyes. Next week, perhaps there will be another game.

The Game

By Don Winfield

Thanksgiving 2015 - Lucky Me!

More Than I Deserve

     The past couple of years have been anything but normal. that is if normal for a retire is to tend the garden, mow the lawn, and paint the sashes, in Summer. Then rake the leaves, caulk up the cracks and wait for Winter in Autumn, and spend the Winter blowing and shoveling snow, making sure there's oil in the furnace tank, and working inside at hobbies and writing flowery prose.

     Since October of 2013, many of those routines have been relegated to memories of how things used to be. You see, in October 2013 I started the "bionic adventure".  

     It started out about fifteen years ago, when tennis games became shorter and slower, running in the evening came to a halt, and I started shopping for pain relievers and knee supports. Nothing helps once the hereditary OA begins to take its place in your joints, but you soldier on, telling yourself it'll be just fine if you don't worry about it.

     Turns out you're lying to yourself, and one day you realize you're spending more time in your recliner, than you are bouncing around the yard getting things done.  Trips to the store with or without the wife, get fewer as the pain of walking around aimlessly shopping, increases.  

     Then the trips to the Osteopath begin, becoming more frequent as time passes. One day, you realize that the Cortisone shots and cartilage replacement shots are no longer doing much to relive your discomfort. At that point, the Osteopathic Surgeon begins to mention joint replacement.

     You ask the surgeon if it's an age thing, and he assures you that it can be. but it's just as likely to be hereditary or even from the way you've used/abused your joints over your lifetime.  It turns out that people from their 30s to their 70s are candidates for joint replacement, and frequently have it done.

     In October of '13, I had the right knee done. It was a total replacement with a stainless steel appliance replacing my bones and cartilage. It's said, by the doctor,  to be a fairly simple surgical procedure. He slices your knee open vertically down the kneecap with about an eight inch cut, slides the cap aside, saws the leg bones to remove both the upper and lower portions of your existing joint, and replaces it by gluing in the prosthesis. Presto! Later that day, or early the next morning you're up and gimping around on crutches, using the new knee just like it's your natural one. They have you demonstrate your ability to get about on your own, including climbing stairs, and after a couple of "glue-drying-wound-healing" days in the hospital, you're sent home.

     After reaching home, you make your nest in front of the TV, and prepare to commence a steady regimen of pain relieving medication, and a minimum of bi-weekly trips to Physical Therapy.  After a couple of weeks of PT and heavy duty pain medications, you are pretty much pain free, and are soon shopping with the spouse again, and doing the things you always did with the exception of extreme physical exercise.

     In my case, I also had a damaged right hip. I had been attacked in the line of duty, ten years earlier while working with criminals.  While the knee replacement took away an enormous amount of pain, it didn't take it all, by a long shot. Once my new knee allowed me more mobility, my hip became more painful than the knee ever had.  Every movement was excruciating, and simply rolling over in bed would awaken me with a painful start.  There was no relieving shot available, and nothing short of narcotic pain killers would dull the agony.  Within a year, I had scheduled hip replacement surgery with the same fine surgeon who had done my knee. 

     In January 2015, I received a new hip.  The pain relief was instant.  I awoke in the recovery room and knew immediately that my suffering was over. Recovery was quick, I required a minimal amount of pain medication, and with PT, was getting around better that I had in ten years, inside of a month.

     Unhappily, with OA, it's never only one or two joints.  Eventually others turn up in need of attention.  I am now scheduled to have a partial replacement of my left knee, in January 2016.  There is no cartilage left on the inside of the joint, and with luck, once I'm opened up, they can repair the damage with only a 50% replacement.  The doctor tells me the recovery time is much faster with a partial, and the pain during the healing process is far less than with a total replacement. this is good news, because after a bout fifteen years of walking around with a limp, favoring one side or the other, I'm ready for a good long walk.

     The purpose of this article is not to complain about my problems, pain, or suffering.  Nothing like that, in fact.  The reason I wanted to lay this out this way, is to tell anyone who is suffering from joint pain, that they don't need to much longer.  Get into an Osteopath's office and get the pain diagnosed.  If he suggests shots, get them.  If his x-rays and/or MRIs show that you need a joint repair, get it done.  A month of discomfort following surgery is far better than the years of pain you've no doubt endured so far, and much more attractive than the prospect of continuing to suffer for years to come.  That's where it's going, because those joints don't rejuvenate or repair themselves.  The pain only gets worse.  

     When I see people walking, on the street, in the stores, or anywhere, I find myself looking at their walk.  I see the cane, the walker, sometimes even a wheelchair nearby, and I try to start a conversation about the source of their pain. I was amazed at first, but not so much now, that it's so frequently OA joint pain that has brought them to where they are today. 

     Sometimes it's an insurance issue keeping people from seeking relief.  That's understandable.  Today, however, affordable medical care is within more people's reach than ever before, and if you are on Medicare, that will take care of most of the expenses. 

     I'm not recommending any treatment, or doctor, hospital, etc..  Nothing like that.  I'm only recommending that if you're reading this and you have painful knees or hips, or a friend/family member does, go see a doctor.  There's help for you to live pain free.

     How does this relate to a Happy Thanksgiving?  Due to me taking care of my knees and hip, I am having the best Thanksgiving I've enjoyed in many years.  A year ago, my wife and I didn't go on vacation, due to my inability to move about and enjoy myself,  Now, even though I still need another operation, we just returned from nearly two weeks in Florida, and attended the big Parrot Head convention in Key West, that I've missed since 2011, due to my pain.

      Yes, this is a very Happy Thanksgiving for me and my lovely wife.  We wish a very Happy Thanksgiving to you, and everyone you love.

House Concerts - Time Well Spent

CHARLIE IMES

@

"Piping Parrot" 

House Concert Venue

Set this date aside.  September 2nd, 2015.

It marks the date that San Diego's Charlie Imes returns to the "Piping Parrot" in Sanitaria Springs, NY.

  

This is the second consecutive year that Charlie has brought his Americana and Beach style music to the Binghamton area.

Last year, Charlie played to an intimate gathering of music lovers inside the Piping Parrot. This year, in anticipation of a warm evening and an even larger audience, the concert will be outside.

  

In case you've never been lucky enough to attend a "House Concert", here's the inside scoop:

The donation is minimal, with all donations going directly to the artist.

You are invited to bring a dish to pass and your own choice of adult beverage.

A lawn chair is a necessity, as the outside area has no permanent seating.

You are expected to respect the artist by turning your cell phone's ringer off, and keeping your conversation to intermission and at the end of the show.

There's a "meet & greet" for an hour, before the show. Of course we'll snack and enjoy our beverages during the show, but the buffet style shared meal is afterward.

This means more time to chat with Charlie, and get to know even more about him than his music will have already revealed.

At a House Concert, you get to know the artist, learn the stories behind the songs, and make a friend you'll never forget.

These outstanding artists tour to not only promote their music, but to get to know their fans "up close and personal".  It's like nothing you've ever done before.

The donation is only $15.00 pp for Charlie Imes, and you'll leave feeling that it's  best entertainment dollar you've ever spent. Please call for your reservations.  Bring a friend, and be prepared for a genuine entertainment experience.

The Piping Parrot is located at:

366 Sanitaria Springs Rd.

Sanitaria Springs, NY 13833

Ph: 607-648-6273

Enjoy The Summer Concert Season

     I read on Facebook recently, that someone was miffed because people behind them at a Jimmy Buffett show kept telling them to sit down. The good folks behind them wanted an unobstructed view of the show, and were put out that the person who posted the comments wanted to dance and jump around to the music.

     My immediate thought was “different strokes for different folks”. But that's not a solution to this recurring issue. How many times have you been comfortably seated at a concert when the person, usually a couple, and often an entire group that came together, decide that they want to stand for the entire show. Not only is the stage blocked, but so are the “big screens”. You sit there and listen to the music, feeling closed in by the wall of humanity before you, only able to hear the music coming from the stage.

     Let's explore the situation from both points of view. Yours is that you want to sit and enjoy the $150.00 seats you bought to “see” Jimmy Buffett. Theirs is that they came to “have fun and enjoy the show”. You both paid the same to rent the seats. You're both hearing the same tunes, but you have different ideas of how to enjoy the event. You righteously believe you have a right to remain seated and get the full effect. They, equally righteously believe that they have a right to stand in front of whomever they wish to enjoy the show their way.

     The truth is, nobody's wrong. Everyone should have the right to enjoy it the way they want. In reality, it just doesn't work that way. Since everyone's idea of enjoyment is different, there is no pleasing every person in the house.

     Jimmy Buffett has been on the road since the early 70's, so he has a lot of older fans. However, his material is always evolving, and his subject matter, which is the laid-back “Margaritaville” lifestyle, is sought by younger generations too. I go to see Buffett and I see people from 8 to 80, all grooving to the music and having a ball. It's going to be that way as long as he is out touring, and he is not the only entertainer to be experiencing the same phenomenon right at this moment. 

     There are a number of 70's and 80's acts still touring and filling the houses. I'm sure many in their audiences experience the same issues. Of course not so much if you're Kenny G, or Michael Franks. Excellent shows, but not a standing up and jumping around crowd.

     So what's my answer? My bright idea is for the performer's people to meet with the various venues and evaluate the potential, or in the case of Buffett, proven make-up of the audience. Every arena and stadium has the ability to divide off seating and seating areas. At each show, the venue and performers could cooperate to create a section for people who want, or need, to remain seated.

     I would hope that the seat prices would remain the same as the regular seats, and have a clear view of the stage and at least one big screen. This would be possible in every venue where I've ever seen a Buffett show. Of course, once seated in that area, you'd be asked to leave if you refused to remain seated.

     It may seem simplistic, but has it ever been tried? I don't know. Maybe there are insurmountable flaws in my theory. I think someone has to give it a shot to see how it works out.

     I have to say, that if you go to see Jimmy Buffett, you should be aware that most of the audience will be on their feet for most of the show. It's that type of event. Tolerance is the key to having a pleasant concert experience. If you find yourself seated behind standees, you may try asking them once if they could sit down now and then so you could see. If they refuse, try to make the best of it, and try for better seats next time.

     If you are a stander, please be aware that there are people behind you just as invested in the performer and their seat, as you are. They may like to have an occasional glimpse of the show, and you could sit down now to then to let them see some of it. It's a matter of tolerance and understanding. Before you yell “Sit Down!”, or tell the person who asked you to sit down, “Shut Up!” remember that they are simply enjoying the show their own way.  Maybe because it's the only way they can enjoy it.

     One last thought. If you're looking for the biggest guy at the concert, just text me. I'll point him out to you. He'll be standing right in front of my seat. 

     See you at the show.

Summertime Safety Will Save Your Children

     The summer vacation and travel season, is suddenly upon us.  It may not seem like Summer yet, due to the oddly extreme fluctuations in the temperatures, rainy days, and brisk breezes from the North, that are keeping us hardy north-easterners off our decks and patios.  It's true that we're still about four weeks away from the official start of Summer.  We can't deny, however, that this is the "Memorial Day" weekend, and that traditionally kicks off the travel frenzy we all seem to get caught up in.
     There are a couple of things that really grind away at this writer's delicate sensibilities. The biggest thing on my mind this holiday weekend, is the safety of our children.  This week, travelers from Virginia were passing through on the highway that runs past my berg.  Mom will not be going any further, that she knows of, and the children, ages 1 & 2, are both in the hospital.  
     It's up to every parent and adult who has children in their care, to be especially careful this time of year.  The dangers multiply when the weather grows warmer.
     When there is swimming, biking, skating, outdoor grilling, camping, and hiking to be done, we frequently get caught up in the pleasure of the moment.  When we're distracted by our own good times, being "in the moment" may cause us to overlook simple precautions for our young charges.
     Mind you, this reminder that is as much to myself as to my readers.  Keeping that thought, here's a brief list of things to keep in mind.  I am sure that anything that is not on it, may occur to you as you read these:

     1.)  Proper clothing.  Under or over-dressing in the summer heat can be risky.  Overheating can be caused by too much clothing, and risk of skin damage from the environment as well as the sun can be caused by under-dressing. 
     
     2.)  Sunscreen.  Always wear sunscreen and apply it as early as 1/2 hour prior to going outdoors.  Anything over 30 SPF may not provide enough additional protection to be worthwhile. Please read the following excerpt from a recent article by Dr. Cynthia Bailey, MD, a renowned Dermatologist:

"The percentage of UVB that’s blocked from your skin compared with your product’s SPF value

SPF 2   means 50%   of UVB rays are blocked
SPF 4   means 75%   of UVB rays are blocked
SPF 10  means 90%  of UVB rays are blocked
SPF 15  means 93%   of UVB rays are blocked
SPF 30  means 97%   of UVB rays are blocked
SPF 50  means 98%   of UVB rays are blocked
SPF 70  means 98.5% of UVB rays are blocked
SPF 100 means 99%   of UVB rays are blocked

Notice that once you hit an SPF of 10, then 90% the percent of UVB rays are blocked.  After that the percent of UVB rays blocked doesn't go up very much as the SPF numbers go up.  The sweet spot is SPF 30 where 97% of the UVB rays are blocked, and most dermatologist’s agree."

     3.)  Water Safety Devices.  Properly fitting flotation vests are imperative for any activities on the water.  Inflated devices of any kind are not adequate for children's safety.  Never use those small rings for children's upper arms, inner-tubes, or any other kind of inflatable device.  The device must be able to support a child who is not a swimmer, without possibility of slipping off the child, or deflating while they are in the water.  Anytime a child is in water that may be over their head, an adult should be "hands on".  

    4.)  Bicycle/Skating Safety Devices.  Be sure your child has a helmet that's approved by your state or the federal guidelines.  Be sure that the bike fits the child.  If you can't figure it out, the federal government has done it for you.  Check it out on this url:  http://www.nhtsa.gov/people/injury/pedbimot/bike/KidsandBikeSafetyWeb/index.htm

     5.  Automobile Safety.  Don't even consider starting your engine with an unrestrained child in the car.  Buy and use only NHTSA (National Highway Safety Administration) approved child seats.  Check out:  http://www.nhtsa.gov/.                                    "But little Johnny unhooks the restraints and gets himself out when we're driving," is no excuse.  STOP THE CAR!  Explain/teach, little Johnny that the car won't move if he doesn't stay in the seat, properly secured.  You are the adult.  You are in charge, not the kids.  Belted in, you'll likely survive most crashes.  Un-secured, the kids probably won't.

     6.)  DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE!

     7,)  Don't text or make cell phone calls while your car is moving!  Pull over in a safe place to make calls or do text messages.  (This doesn't mean stop in the v-shaped, white lined area between the interstate highway's driving lanes and the off/'on ramps.)

     Skateboarding, bicycling, trampoline jumping, swinging, and nearly any physical activity your child does in the summer, can potentially cause injury.  There's no reason to be paranoid or lock the kids inside for the season.  All that's necessary is common sense.  They tell me that fewer and fewer people, adults and children alike, have much common sense nowadays.  I guess that makes it "uncommon good sense" that's needed.  If you don't have common sense, or can't understand why kids need protection from certain situations, and how to provide it, there are those who've figured it out for you.  Just "Google up" whatever it is you are about to do, and add the word "safe" somewhere in your search.

     Take care during the Summer of 2015, and beyond.  It's attention to the details that will guarantee you a happy and safe vacation season.

MOTORCYCLE SEASON IS ALMOST HERE

STUPID KILLS!

Opinion

I believe that most of the untimely deaths on this planet are from stupidity. Yep. If you don’t die of one of the terminal illnesses that will eventually kill every species that has a pulse, as a human you’re most likely to die of an act of stupidity.  It may be yours, but it could be some other person's that causes it. 

Old age gets credit for nearly all of the natural (non-stupid) deaths, even though the autopsy usually names a specific cause. Face it. We get old, all our parts get old at the same time.  Sooner or later either enough of of those parts, or one of them that’s really essential, gives up the ghost. But, ‘natural causes’ is not what this rant is about. Unless, of course, stupidity has somehow achieved ‘natural cause’ status.

No.  This rant is about some of the stupid things people do on the highway.

A relative of a man I know, recently became a victim of blatant stupidity. One day, a few minutes after noon, while most people were either thinking of lunch or sitting down to eat, his life came to sudden, violent end.

This was a case of another person’s stupidity tragically terminating this man’s hopes and dreams. Stupidity altered the lives of his family, friends, and everyone who depended upon or loved him.

On a busy entrance to a nearby Interstate Highway, an individual pulled the stupid stunt of stopping in the the lane. Here's a good rule of thumb:  The key to successfully negotiating an acceleration lane is to accelerate!  If there is ‘STOP’ or ‘YIELD’ sign, stopping is not an offered option. 

No one will ever truly know the final thoughts and actions of the victim.  We are only left with the results.  But, it’s safe to say he was following a vehicle up the long, high speed acceleration lane.  He was presumably accelerating to blend into the 65 mph plus traffic heading north on Interstate 81. 

I would be looking in my mirrors, glancing over my shoulder to the left, gauging the speed of approaching traffic, and accelerating to blend into it. That’s what you’d be doing, too. That’s what you are supposed to be doing.  It’s the safest thing to do.

In the split second it takes to check traffic behind you, either in your mirror or with a sideways glance, a lot can go wrong. What went wrong this time was that the drivert right ahead of my friend’s brother-in-law, stopped. He stopped!

I didn't mention it, but the victim’s mode of transportation was one that’s invisible to too many motorists. He was astride his beloved Harley-Davidson motorcycle. When you stop dead in front of a motorcycle being driven by someone who assumes you’re doing the right thing on an acceleration ramp, that’s what your doing. You’re stopping him dead. The motorcycle rider braked hard. The skid marks still paint the ramp at the accident scene. It looks like that’s all he had time to do.

From my experience, having ridden a motorcycle for several decades, many automobile drivers operate under a shroud of misinformation. They frequently seem to feel that motorcycles are dangerous, "death-wish mobiles," ridden only by mouth breathing knuckle-draggers.  That is, of course, if they think of them at all.  A large percentage of the automobile driving public ignores motorcycles, out of hand.  Many offer no common courtesy to motorcyclists.  The may have a false impression that bikes can stop on a dime.  That thinking kills hundreds of motorcyclists every year.  

The fact is that a motorcycle can’t stop as quickly as a car.  Nor can it swerve as nimbly around obstacles as a car is able to. The unbendable laws of physics prohibit those maneuvers.

Don’t be stupid. When you are driving a car, be aware 360 degrees around you.  Just like the Driver’s Ed instructor taught you. Watch for the small profile of a bike.  

I suggest that you use the acceleration lane to accelerate and blend with traffic at speed.  I further suggest that when you're on a four lane highway and you observe someone accelerating to blend with you, you give them the courtesy of a lane change whenever possible.  That will clear the driving lane and make their access safer.

When you’re riding your motorcycle, scooter, or even your old blue bicycle, be 100 times more careful and alert than you are in the relatively safe steel cocoon of your car.

Remember…don’t be stupid.  Stupid kills!

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