By: Don "da Pyrate" Winfield
My wife says I'm crazy.
She should probably know. She spent her whole career in the
mental health field. This time though, I'm pretty sure she's wrong. I
guess she had to think something was wrong with me, however. She
couldn't figure out why I spent so much time researching the origin
of Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer.
Sure, I may be crazy,
but I have uncovered the true story. With time, stories usually
become different from the original, and often meander away from the
truth. Lines spoken and not recorded can change completely in
context and meaning from what was actually said. Such is the true
story of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.
The century was one in
the higher end of the single digits, so it was a very long time ago.
Before it was called St Petersburg, Novgorad was a thriving city in
a vast cold land we now know as Russia. Winters there are always
harsh but the winter that year was especially cold and brutal. In
fact, it looked as though there would be no Christmas in Novgorad
that year because of the extreme frigid weather. Everyone knew it
was just too cold for Santa and his reindeer to fly.
All the children of
Novgorad were very sad, but because it was so cold, they couldn't
cry. If they cried, their tears would freeze on their faces. The
icy tears would build up in layers, until the children became encased
in giant ice cubes. That was unacceptable, because then they could
no longer go to school, or do their household chores. It was truly a
hard winter in Novgorad, with the cold temperatures causing the
prospect of there being no visit from Father Christmas. Of course in
Russia he was known as Ded Moroz. Pronounced properly, it isn't as
bad as it seems. It means the same thing as Santa Claus, and he has
the same red suit and long white beard.
Since it was so cold
and with a strong likelihood that they would receive no Christmas
presents that year, the dry eyed children of Novgorad just shivered
in their cold little houses, looking sad and pathetic. That's how it
was all over town including the home of Rudolph and Natasha Ivanov
and their five children. Natasha was brewing up hot drinks and
baking delicious wood fire cookies, trying to cheer up the Ivanov
brood. Rudolph sadly shook his head. It wasn't working.
Rudy knew you couldn't
cure the heartbreak of no Ded Moroz with tepid gruel and tasteless
flat bread.
The science of
meteorology was in it's infancy in the ninth century. Alright, you
got me. In the 800s, nobody had a clue about scientific weather
prognostication. It was a little before there were Meteorologists.
Most everybody just looked outside and said, “yep, it's snowing.”
Or maybe it wouldn't be snowing, so they'd say, “nope, it's not
snowing,” However, young Novgoradian Rudolph Ivanov, took a more
critical look at the situation.
Rudy (his buds down at
the local pub called him Rudy) would look outside and see what the
weather was like, then write it down in his journal. After 9 years
of note taking, Rudy thought he could see a pattern. He eventually
realized that if it was winter in Russia, it was probably going to be
cold, and it was also likely that it would snow. He also noted that
in Winter if it wasn't all that cold, it might rain instead of snow.
He could even predict that if it was getting warmer in the evening,
it might rain overnight. He also noted that rainy days in Winter
were usually foggy, but that doesn't matter in this story. This led
the quick minded Rudy to think he could extrapolate the data from
previous Winters' notes, to predict what the weather would be
tomorrow, by what it was like today. Yep. Sort of like an early
Farmers Almanac.
It was the
day before Christmas, 849 AD. We'll call it December 24th, but
nobody seems sure when they actually celebrated Christmas way back
then. Anyway, Rudy went outside early that evening. He looked
skyward and predicted that Ded Moroz would be making his run as
scheduled. Strangely, he was the only person in Novgorad who
thought Ded Moroz as going to make it. Soon, the word was all over
Novgorad that Rudy the weatherman had finally gone totally off his
nut.
“He's coming,
Natasha,” Rudy said. “It'll be warm enough for Ded Moroz's
sleigh to fly.”
“No way!” said
Natasha.
“Way,” said Rudy.
“No way,” said his
good neighbor Boris.
“Way,” said
Rudolph. “You'll see. It's going to be warmer. In fact, it's
going to rain. He'll be wearing a slicker, but Ded Moroz will come
tonight.”
Boris just rubbed his
neck, shook his head, and walked back to the pub. “That Rudy's is
crazier than a no legged cat trying to kick a flea,” he mumbled.
Christmas morning, when
the good people of Novgorad looked out their windows, they were
amazed to see rain dripping from their eves. There were familiar
hoof and sleigh tracks in their slush covered yards.
The children cried
tears of joy. Really. They didn't freeze on their faces! In the
living room of every little house there stood a fresh, gaily
decorated tree. Every tree was surrounded by piles of presents.
Against every prediction, all the children of Novgorad had a very
“Happy Christmas”.
Overjoyed, Natasha ran
to Rudy, threw her arms around him and kissed him in delight. “Rudy,
how did you do it? How could you ever have kept up such optimism?
It's been below zero for the last eight weeks. What made you think
you could predict warmer weather for Christmas Eve?”
“Well,” Rudy
grinned and uttered the words that have been misinterpreted for all
these centuries. “Natasha, you of all people should certainly know. Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
Over the years, that
famous line became misconstrued to refer to the antlered animals who
pull Ded Moroz's sleigh. Eleven hundred years later, a singing
American cowboy would sing a song about it, making the fictitious red
nosed reindeer, a Christmas hero.
Merry Christmas, everybody!
